Seiving My Pensive

When you have time on your hands, and you happen to curiously look through your friends pictures or so on social networking sites like Facebook.. There's quite an entertainment guaranteed!!

This is what I saw: They're smiling & have been to all over the world (ok, just a country or two, but they're on the move yeah.. Travelling hippies!!).. They're smiling & STILL studying.. (Nerds!).. They're smiling & partying.. (really, how can one take over 60 photographs of a single event with just 15 or so people attending.. it's like permutations & combinations of poses).. They're smiling & getting engaged/married.. (Ahem, no comments).. Honestly, I find myself feeling happy at times & jealous at the others.

Conclusion: We're all smiling at one point, and a point before the camera clicks we're all equally facing some sort of emotional storm or another. Whether it's a fight with a friend or a dear one; worries about our future, our jobs, lives, relationships; or unnecessary insecurities. We all fight through it. We all flash our brilliantly brushed teeths, and stand head-head/shoulder-shoulder with our friends, and savour that moment to ease ourselves.

That's why we often find displaying the best or moderately best of ourselves on such social sites. Doing otherwise is usually deemed psychopathic, because of its public announcement of our deepest dismays. Its then that you realise, that like the original black & white films of a reel. The coloured printed portion is out on display. And the black dimmed reel is held somewhere in the refines of the drawer, with you alone. We're all social human beings, sharing the best with everybody, and the worst with those we hold close or perhaps nobody else.

It's when we gather during those photoshoots, or otherwise, that our distinct, but common, emotional threads disappear & get united with a common fabric instead. We're all drowned into vibes of joy & sorrow, pain & laughter all together.. Like supplements we need every once so often, from different sources & different regions, to keep ourselves alive & kicking! And that's life..

Dancing With the Stars

I've always been inspired by the era of magical & elegant dancing by actors like Gene Kelly, Judy Garlands, Frank Sinatra & the like. Their melodious voices, swayingly toned bodies, & steps that make you dance with the chair. Frankly, I wasn't too inspired by the Bollywood dancing of colorful umbrellas or pots, or those of women trying to act shy & seductive by making quirky facial expressions. Only actresses like Vyjantimala, Vahida Rehman did leave me mesmerised with their earthen & sensous Kathak movements in some movies.

I tried tap-dancing with my feet, there was no tapping, just horrible clucking noises. Dancing with chairs & by jumping on & off them, admittedly that's the reason why I broke some furniture. ( To list a few - chairs, bathroom accessories, glass ware, & to top it off, I've dropped water & things liquidy more than Mr. Butter Fingers..) I digress..

So, the elegant MGM-inspired dancing didn't work for me, there was always the Indian folk dance.. I tried Kathak alright. Squat your feet sideways, pop your eyes out, have the biggest grin, and play with your fingers: make them three & shake like you're a peacock, make them three and point in opposite directions, play a simple bow & arrow. So when I was 8, I braved an attempt for a Kathak audition at school.. The girl who led us was 12-13 maybe, she listened to the audio tape like she was lost, I felt I was safe.. A few seconds later, she started vrooming around the class room at unfathomable speed.. While she knelt, I stood. While she stood I knelt. I chose to resign before anybody told me otherwise. Age 15, a friend was organising a Kathak dance, I sneaked in.. And had the same tragedy. Just that this time I chose to stand at the last column, I laughed & gave up.

I've never been a party-animal, sadly that meant my dancing sucked more. And if ever I tried, I ran out of breath at minute 2. Imagine trying to invent new steps for those 120 seconds, and then moving on them. Phew! Some work! It gets worse when I often end up stamping or banging into somebody. Still, I danced at my wedding. I was reminded it's my own after all, sadly I was recorded for a short but devastating 40 seconds, for what felt like an eternity.. All I can say is, I can't stop laughing hysterically everytime I see it, & that I notice how my husband keeps going back from me to maintinain a SAFE distance.

Recently at a kid's birthday party, people blessed with the ability were grooving around. I sat & watched on the hopes that nobody would call me, and I'll be entertained by watching the fun. Surprisingly I was dragged on the floor to become that entertainer. After struggling for a while to make some dhumka's n shumka's, I remembered Monica from FRIENDS, wearing that fat-suit. Ahh, peace at last. This time, I lasted 3 minutes, and people thought that preggieness suited me. Well, what do you know?!