Chaos called L.I.F.E.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Didnt expect me to come here? Neither did I. After a hiatus of nearly 13 years, I'm back with revamped rantings of what's been and is brewing in my life. Interested, read on, won't be offended if you shift gears and rear off! =)

2 boys, 1 country move, 3 attempted job shifts later:

> I'm still an unsorted hyper active mess as ever. I still get attracted to a million hobbies. And I just have to try my hands on them, no matter how out of league they seem. Planting: killing some, thriving some, Poetry: became a performing member of a Poetry society & backed out (as quickly as I joined), Chalk Art: still loving it, Portrait embroidery: done, wooden embroidery: done, dot painting: horribly done, fabric painting: doomed.

> I still stay awake the nights, Carpe Noctem, beautifully coined in Latin! Anthropologically speaking, and also by the meritorious conducts of a mother, I must function well during morning hours and sleep after the sinking hours of the dusk. I don't. My boys still nudge me out of bed for breakfast, my entire extended family first ask me the question, 'Are you AWAKE?'

> I still have zero navigational abilities (disclaimer: One Piece fans, I relate to Zoro). I used to possess a blessed photographic memory, let's just say it was limited to science diagrams & my teachers were impressed. In the real word, 'Where are we again?'

>I dabbled my fingers into creating & teaching Online Coding to kids, that worked for a while, and then I shifted countries. I tried getting back into ERP Programming, & reality bit hard. I gave Event Management a brief shot & lightning bolted straight outta the sky. Recently, I set up a creative space with a close friend. Here, I make things as eccentric as me, and she contributes, overlooks & critiques to my whims. I've currently stained my floor & fingertips with paints on canvases, coasters, magnets and wooden slippers. It's slow burning fun process.

> At my age (I've to calculate to tell you), Im still catching upto the drastic curve of the Gen Z, still changing my core parts to make path for brute better ones. Still dialing a number onto this mystical but foggy journey.

Every road block you and I have ever hit, has had been a lesson. But not every chapter is decoded for easy reading. And that's why I'm writing: to attempt at making some sense of this absolute chaos called L.I.F.E.

P.S. Show some love and support to my art Insta acct as diverse (ahem scattered) as me.. 

Wabi Sabi Handworks

Baby, it's Cold Outside..

Its that time of the year again..
Unusual is the winter warmth,
The warmth of my clothes keeps me snug,
Yet these unbridled cool winds lift my spirits..

I remember the times when I'd long for this season.
When you'd come from the distant West.
And your arrivals would coincide with softly quenching showers..

How I'd spend those days with you,
By the beach, or in Italian restaurants with foggy windows..
How everyday was something special..
Earlier, my hand would close around my cellphone, waitingg for a correspondence..
Now, it was shyly embracing your long fingers..

Have I aged through time,
or has time simply aged?
I now hold fingers far smaller than mine,
Cuddle him close & brave him through an innocently breezy weather,
Eagerly waiting for his reactions to his first rain shower.. :)

What've You Been Upto?

More often than not, when you bump into friends, the icebreaker question is 'So, how was your day?', 'What have you been upto?', or What's new?', 'Aren't you looking good today!'.. Okay I made the last one up.

And you try, quite earnestly to think to yourself, what about my life seems interesting enough to encaptivate you. A trip to Spain, a vacation to my private resort by the Bahamas, a recently mastered skill to drum beat (and not to beat the life out of drums!).. none of the above. I admit to being at home, busy with my baby.. I shrug, they nod. They understand..

So what if I wake up late, I sleep around the wee hours every morning!! My kiddo wakes me up by stretching & what I call doing the sleepy head-down snail dance on my tummy, nudging me to kick start. After diaper changing, freshening up, entertaining & feeding some solids to the baby, feeding myself, and putting my baby back to a noon nap. I get to relax. More than half of these times, my break is interrupted by some %^*##% noise, ignorable by the adult human ear, but loud enough for his teeny ears. That explains my perpetually silent cell phone.. Hmm, so once again starts the cycle of entertaining, feeding, cleaning, etc.

Within this ordinarily monotonously rigorously butt-moving schedule, some of the cutest, invaluable Kodak moments occur. Like being able to teach my kid to get his feet down the bed by himself, & days later, he follows it by crawling backwards, and softly landing on the floor. Touchdown!! Watching him stand (with support) by the balcony railing, beneath tinted windows, and seeing a short boy with curious gleeful eyes observe the world below. Giving him the freedom to explore things by his own, and knowing that he knows I watch him, and dare if I leave him entirely, he'll come back to me. Like getting kissed by him, with pucker noises to the 'T'. Teasing his sense of humour with more than noises, funny faces & peek-a-boos..

Amidst all this, when I get the slightest time, I get down to programing for my husband's business, painting something decently recognisable, watching better-be-worth-it movies.. And wondering what I can do to tingle my senses, before time runs outta me again..

So passes each day, as something new enfolds itself silently within the mundane, while I barely notice it.

There Was a Time..

I'm just 25! That's a thought that comes to mind when an adjective as big as 'Mother' is titled to you. Quite often I remind myself that just a year or two ago I was one skinny, frolicking little lazy bum with no direction in life, except those that go towards making softwares & spending the rewards in shopping..

I have a blessedly kind set of in-laws & to my luck I live just 5 minutes-of-drive-away from my maiden home, obviously pampering is an understatement:) Nonetheless, things have changed..

1. I would woke up late in the mornings. NOW: I wake up LATER. With my baby snuggled around me, I just can't resist shunning the blanket warmth.

2. I used to worry about cooking for the family. NOW: I cook just for my baby. Jokes apart, if s/he can happily munch on food, it either means your kid isn't fussy or u've cooked 4 different little meals to experiment with!

3. I would passionately practise Ashtanga Yoga. NOW: I walk more (sleeping the baby), practise archery (spoon feed the baby), and meditate (fall straight into bed myself).

4. I would think candles & scented airfreshners at night. NOW: I clear off stuffed toys & rattles outta bed, and think diaper creams & powders.

5. I would squirm when I'd see any baby drool over my things. NOW: As long as you're entertained & I don't have to work harder, suit yourself kiddo!

6. Earlier being relaxed had no time limit. NOW: it does.. :)

There is effort, loads of it, humour & love required to get through times when fatigue dawns on you like it has no boundaries. Then a crawl, a toothless grin & an excited shout makes you wanna jump on your feet for some more baby fun.. I must be nuts!